When i was at the Euronog conference last year, this table napkin was part of the buffet and I thought it was genius.
EtherealMind Note: I found this in an old directory and, from the date stamp I can tell I wrote this post in July 2008. It amuses me how few of the details are unchanged in the last three years.
It still reads well, so I’m going to post it anyway.
What are my beliefs ? What is the foundation of my thinking for the moral quotient of your network ? How do you feel about our industry. 1
My Network Beliefs
I believe in the power of communication and that faster networks mean better business and that bigger networking budgets will improve the world’s problems.
I know that Networking Engineers are grossly misunderstood by everyone else.
I believe that FDDI was good idea before it’s time, that Token Ring really worked and Ethernet exists because its the cheapest, not the best.
I believe that Jeff Doyle probably brought Routing TCP/IP Vol 1 and 2 down from a mountain, and the earth shook while it was being printed. And that Cisco Press really hasn’t brought out a good sequel yet. Except for MPLS and VPN Architectures, which was really quite good.
I believe that firewalls are just routers that don’t work, that security is a process not a state of mind.
I believe that security is only possible once the network is actually working.
I believe that Network Access Control is addressing poor quality of Microsoft’s desktop software, and the real fix is to use Linux or, even better, Mac OSX on every computer.
I believe that IP Telephony has been a passing fad, and mobile voice is the next generation. No one cares about Voice mail and Video Conferencing is for people that can’t communicate like adults – they need pictures to work out what people are saying. I mean, how hard is it to talk ?
I believe that all managers should have on the job training, and no one should have an MBA. If you have an MBA and think it’s a good idea, you should be forced to work at McDonalds for six months so you can learn to how to “apply that business management expertise” before you come and apply it to me.
I know that managers who only manage and don’t learn what they are managing, are going to be crap managers. I also know that’s at least thirty percent of all managers.
I know that working for the government or the military will reduce my IQ by forty points, and lead me into depression.
I know that the next generation of technology …… ah, bugger it, who cares. It’ll be something.
I believe that all vendors tell falsehoods and misdirections, usually when they don’t mean it or even know that they are lying. Delivery times are always longer than promised and telcos say twelve weeks lead time because it takes eight weeks to do the paperwork. I believe that resellers have a role to play in the marketplace, but no one knows what it is and it’s hard to know what their value is.
I know that software will have bugs, but why do all the bugs have to be in my product ? I also know that all products are basically flawed because of the compromises made during the design and production process. I just have work out where the flaws are so that I don’t use those features.
But most of all, yes, most of all: I believe in a network that stays up for a three day weekend without needing me to be on-call.
Well, I believe in the soul, the cck, the pssy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.
This is partly inspired by the scene that I keeps coming back from the baseball movie Bull Durham when Crash Davis says ↩
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At the Tech Field Day welcoming event last night, Networking Nerd Tom Hollinsworth handed out everyone a Cloud Security Blanket after a joke tweet about Cloud Security. Without doubt, one of the most inspiring technical gifts that I have ever received.
I feel that it is important that I show you how it works. There are two modes for Security, Safe Mode and Visible Danger.
My data has been sent to the cloud, and is now “secure”. As you can see, everything is good, reassuring and wonderful. The Teddy Bears are looking after my data.
Here, you can see what happens when you don’t have your security blanket. It’s reassuring to note that the blanket is nearby, and that any time I get worried about my Cloud Security, I can immediately take steps to improve security.
The EtherealMind View
I cannot tell you how inspiring and safe it is to have a Cloud Security Blanket. My data is much safer, and I know exactly what is happening at any time.
Everyone should have a Cloud Safety Blanket. The security of the Internet is now solved. All ‘data is now safes’.
PS: Buzzword Compliance
Tom would like to point out the Cloud Security Blanket is buzzword compliant with Cisco BorderLess Networking because it was designed this way. We know that you want Borderless Security and designed the Cloud Security Blanket to have no borders.
@mfratto A runt packet walks into a bar, the bartender says “You could use a byte.” –
@samj: OH: “A UDP packet walks into a bar. The bartender doesn’t acknowledge him.”
@etherealmind TCP packet tries to get past the firewall on the way to the bar. Firewall says “hey, you’re out of order”.
@pello FTP-data packet tries to get past the checkpoint firewall when someone changed the bar policy. “Hey, first packet is not SYN”
_johnmcmanus_ a broadcast walk into the bar, everyone stops what they are doing to look
RT @BartSwinnen An IPv4 address space walks into a bar: “A strong CIDR please. I’m exhausted.” #ipv6
An IPv6 NS packet walks into a bar and yells, “Is anyone in here named John Smith?”. When no one answers, he sits down and orders a beer.
@xme an IPv4 packet walks on a bar and orders a CIDR and says “I’m exhausted” ^_^
Brandon Carroll @brandoncarroll talking about the Last of the Bogons.
A Bogon walks into a bar. The Bartender says… Youíre not supposed to be here! 🙂
A Bogon walks into a bar. The Bartender says….. I thought you were extinct !
A Bogon walks into a bar and says to the Bartender… Take me to your leader!