Friday, March 12, 2010

Network Dictionary — Technobabble

March 3, 2009 by Greg Ferro · 2 Comments 

This Post is Part of a Series — click for list on Network Dictionary»

Refers to the verbal semantic mode used by net­work engin­eers when a man­ager ask a ques­tion that they didn’t under­stand but think they would like an answer to.

Surprisingly, most such ques­tions ori­gin­ate from in-​​flight magazines or in the CIO sec­tion at Network World and have little found­a­tion in real­ity or sound think­ing on the behalf of the per­son. _​sarcasm mode off_

When someone says, “I don’t under­stand that tech­nobabble” you can be reas­on­ably sure you are talk­ing to an idiot. Or someone who is rude enough, and stu­pid enough, to admit that after sev­eral years of using com­puters and net­works they still have no idea of what is going on around them.

List of Posts in this series:
  1. Network Dictionary — Freelance
  2. Network Dictionary — Resume Generating Events
  3. Network Dictionary — Scalable
  4. Network Dictionary — magic hand wave
  5. Network Dictionary — NAT’d
  6. Network Dictionary — Pain Relief Technology
  7. Network Dictionary — work­shop
  8. Network Dictionary — Process Humping
  9. Network Dictionary — appsel­la­tion
  10. Network Dictionary — Spinning Rust
  11. Network Dictionary — Server Hugger
  12. Network Dictionary — Facepalm
  13. Network Dictionary — Nortard
  14. Network Dictionary — Ciscotist
  15. Network Dictionary — long­horn
  16. Network Dictionary — IEEEdiot
  17. Network Dictionary — foo
  18. Network Dictionary — Ethereal
  19. Network Dictionary — Signal Slope
  20. Network Dictionary — lever­age
  21. Network Dictionary — Microsoft Standard
  22. Network Dictionary — Brandalize
  23. Network Dictionary — Blamestorming
  24. Network Dictionary — CCIE Pounds
  25. Network Dictionary — borked
  26. Network Dictionary — tech­nobabble
  27. Network Dictionary — Markenauts
  28. Network Dictionary — Implementation
  29. Network Dictionary — Distributed Attention
  30. Network Dictionary — func­tion­al­ity
  31. Network Dictionary — cof­fice
  32. Network Dictionary — Rubber Duck Debugging
  33. Network Dictionary — Unicorn Tears
  34. Network Dictionary —  survivor’s bias
  35. Network Dictionary — IPocalypse
  36. Network Dictionary — slugged
  37. Network Dictionary — Project Manager
  38. Network Dictionary — Sanity Cheque
  39. Network Dictionary — goodth­ing
  40. Network Dictionary: Fun Detector
  41. Network Dictionary: Cock Blocked
  42. Network Dictionary — TACrathon
  43. Network Dictionary — Backhoe Attenuation
  44. Network Dictionary — heater
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Comments

2 Responses to “Network Dictionary — Technobabble”
  1. Anon says:

    I’ve learned to decipher what ques­tions really mean based on who’s ask­ing them. Then I dumb down my answer in kind.

    Example.

    Idiot Manager: “I read about the new Cisco VSS sys­tem on my new Blackberry Storm while driv­ing to work in my over­priced sports car and eat­ing a powdered donut. The art­icle says that VSS doesn’t need to run spanning-​​tree, but I don’t under­stand why. Can you explain it to me?”

    My answer: “Oh, look! A puppy!!”

    Idiot: “Oh, yeah, I need to go to the pet store. La la la la…”

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