Network Dictionary — Technobabble
March 3, 2009 by Greg Ferro · 2 Comments
Refers to the verbal semantic mode used by network engineers when a manager ask a question that they didn’t understand but think they would like an answer to.
Surprisingly, most such questions originate from in-flight magazines or in the CIO section at Network World and have little foundation in reality or sound thinking on the behalf of the person. _sarcasm mode off_
When someone says, “I don’t understand that technobabble” you can be reasonably sure you are talking to an idiot. Or someone who is rude enough, and stupid enough, to admit that after several years of using computers and networks they still have no idea of what is going on around them.
- Network Dictionary — Freelance
- Network Dictionary — Resume Generating Events
- Network Dictionary — Scalable
- Network Dictionary — magic hand wave
- Network Dictionary — NAT’d
- Network Dictionary — Pain Relief Technology
- Network Dictionary — workshop
- Network Dictionary — Process Humping
- Network Dictionary — appsellation
- Network Dictionary — Spinning Rust
- Network Dictionary — Server Hugger
- Network Dictionary — Facepalm
- Network Dictionary — Nortard
- Network Dictionary — Ciscotist
- Network Dictionary — longhorn
- Network Dictionary — IEEEdiot
- Network Dictionary — foo
- Network Dictionary — Ethereal
- Network Dictionary — Signal Slope
- Network Dictionary — leverage
- Network Dictionary — Microsoft Standard
- Network Dictionary — Brandalize
- Network Dictionary — Blamestorming
- Network Dictionary — CCIE Pounds
- Network Dictionary — borked
- Network Dictionary — technobabble
- Network Dictionary — Markenauts
- Network Dictionary — Implementation
- Network Dictionary — Distributed Attention
- Network Dictionary — functionality
- Network Dictionary — coffice
- Network Dictionary — Rubber Duck Debugging
- Network Dictionary — Unicorn Tears
- Network Dictionary — survivor’s bias
- Network Dictionary — IPocalypse
- Network Dictionary — slugged
- Network Dictionary — Project Manager
- Network Dictionary — Sanity Cheque
- Network Dictionary — goodthing
- Network Dictionary: Fun Detector
- Network Dictionary: Cock Blocked
- Network Dictionary — TACrathon
- Network Dictionary — Backhoe Attenuation
- Network Dictionary — heater
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- Network Dictionary — magic hand wave
- Network Dictionary — NAT’d
- Network Dictionary — Pain Relief Technology
- Network Dictionary — workshop
- Network Dictionary — Process Humping
- Network Dictionary — appsellation
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- Network Dictionary — Facepalm
- Network Dictionary — Nortard
- Network Dictionary — Ciscotist
- Network Dictionary — longhorn
- Network Dictionary — IEEEdiot
- Network Dictionary — foo
- Network Dictionary — Ethereal
- Network Dictionary — Signal Slope
- Network Dictionary — leverage
- Network Dictionary — Microsoft Standard
- Network Dictionary — Brandalize
- Network Dictionary — Blamestorming
- Network Dictionary — CCIE Pounds
- Network Dictionary — borked
- Network Dictionary — technobabble
- Network Dictionary — Markenauts
- Network Dictionary — Implementation
- Network Dictionary — Distributed Attention
- Network Dictionary — functionality
- Network Dictionary — coffice
- Network Dictionary — Rubber Duck Debugging
- Network Dictionary — Unicorn Tears
- Network Dictionary — survivor’s bias
- Network Dictionary — IPocalypse
- Network Dictionary — slugged
- Network Dictionary — Project Manager
- Network Dictionary — Sanity Cheque
- Network Dictionary — goodthing
- Network Dictionary: Fun Detector
- Network Dictionary: Cock Blocked
- Network Dictionary — TACrathon
- Network Dictionary — Backhoe Attenuation
- Network Dictionary — heater
- Network Dictionary — Freelance
- Network Dictionary — Resume Generating Events
- Network Dictionary — Scalable
- Network Dictionary — magic hand wave
- Network Dictionary — NAT’d
- Network Dictionary — Pain Relief Technology
- Network Dictionary — workshop
- Network Dictionary — Process Humping
- Network Dictionary — appsellation
- Network Dictionary — Spinning Rust
- Network Dictionary — Server Hugger
- Network Dictionary — Facepalm
- Network Dictionary — Nortard
- Network Dictionary — Ciscotist
- Network Dictionary — longhorn
- Network Dictionary — IEEEdiot
- Network Dictionary — foo
- Network Dictionary — Ethereal
- Network Dictionary — Signal Slope
- Network Dictionary — leverage
- Network Dictionary — Microsoft Standard
- Network Dictionary — Brandalize
- Network Dictionary — Blamestorming
- Network Dictionary — CCIE Pounds
- Network Dictionary — borked
- Network Dictionary — technobabble
- Network Dictionary — Markenauts
- Network Dictionary — Implementation
- Network Dictionary — Distributed Attention
- Network Dictionary — functionality
- Network Dictionary — coffice
- Network Dictionary — Rubber Duck Debugging
- Network Dictionary — Unicorn Tears
- Network Dictionary — survivor’s bias
- Network Dictionary — IPocalypse
- Network Dictionary — slugged
- Network Dictionary — Project Manager
- Network Dictionary — Sanity Cheque
- Network Dictionary — goodthing
- Network Dictionary: Fun Detector
- Network Dictionary: Cock Blocked
- Network Dictionary — TACrathon
- Network Dictionary — Backhoe Attenuation
- Network Dictionary — heater
- Network Dictionary — Freelance
- Network Dictionary — Resume Generating Events
- Network Dictionary — Scalable
- Network Dictionary — magic hand wave
- Network Dictionary — NAT’d
- Network Dictionary — Pain Relief Technology
- Network Dictionary — workshop
- Network Dictionary — Process Humping
- Network Dictionary — appsellation
- Network Dictionary — Spinning Rust
- Network Dictionary — Server Hugger
- Network Dictionary — Facepalm
- Network Dictionary — Nortard
- Network Dictionary — Ciscotist
- Network Dictionary — longhorn
- Network Dictionary — IEEEdiot
- Network Dictionary — foo
- Network Dictionary — Ethereal
- Network Dictionary — Signal Slope
- Network Dictionary — leverage
- Network Dictionary — Microsoft Standard
- Network Dictionary — Brandalize
- Network Dictionary — Blamestorming
- Network Dictionary — CCIE Pounds
- Network Dictionary — borked
- Network Dictionary — technobabble
- Network Dictionary — Markenauts
- Network Dictionary — Implementation
- Network Dictionary — Distributed Attention
- Network Dictionary — functionality
- Network Dictionary — coffice
- Network Dictionary — Rubber Duck Debugging
- Network Dictionary — Unicorn Tears
- Network Dictionary — survivor’s bias
- Network Dictionary — IPocalypse
- Network Dictionary — slugged
- Network Dictionary — Project Manager
- Network Dictionary — Sanity Cheque
- Network Dictionary — goodthing
- Network Dictionary: Fun Detector
- Network Dictionary: Cock Blocked
- Network Dictionary — TACrathon
- Network Dictionary — Backhoe Attenuation
- Network Dictionary — heater
- Network Dictionary — Freelance
- Network Dictionary — Resume Generating Events
- Network Dictionary — Scalable
- Network Dictionary — magic hand wave
- Network Dictionary — NAT’d
- Network Dictionary — Pain Relief Technology
- Network Dictionary — workshop
- Network Dictionary — Process Humping
- Network Dictionary — appsellation
- Network Dictionary — Spinning Rust
- Network Dictionary — Server Hugger
- Network Dictionary — Facepalm
- Network Dictionary — Nortard
- Network Dictionary — Ciscotist
- Network Dictionary — longhorn
- Network Dictionary — IEEEdiot
- Network Dictionary — foo
- Network Dictionary — Ethereal
- Network Dictionary — Signal Slope
- Network Dictionary — leverage
- Network Dictionary — Microsoft Standard
- Network Dictionary — Brandalize
- Network Dictionary — Blamestorming
- Network Dictionary — CCIE Pounds
- Network Dictionary — borked
- Network Dictionary — technobabble
- Network Dictionary — Markenauts
- Network Dictionary — Implementation
- Network Dictionary — Distributed Attention
- Network Dictionary — functionality
- Network Dictionary — coffice
- Network Dictionary — Rubber Duck Debugging
- Network Dictionary — Unicorn Tears
- Network Dictionary — survivor’s bias
- Network Dictionary — IPocalypse
- Network Dictionary — slugged
- Network Dictionary — Project Manager
- Network Dictionary — Sanity Cheque
- Network Dictionary — goodthing
- Network Dictionary: Fun Detector
- Network Dictionary: Cock Blocked
- Network Dictionary — TACrathon
- Network Dictionary — Backhoe Attenuation
- Network Dictionary — heater
Network Dictionary — Kewl
“kewl” is the network geeks word that has the same meaning as gnarly (surfer culture), sick (teen subculture), wicked (american movies). That is, it can mean something magnificent, or something so retarded or mind bendingly stupid as to be beneath contempt and varying degrees in between. Not normally used in executive meetings or board level presentations. Most commonly observed when a colleague shows you a neat Cisco IOS CLI trick, or a new piece of OS X software.
Pronunciation
Usually pronounced “queue-well”, and the more kewl something is, the more emphasis on “Queue” there is. Derogatory invocations typically involve substantial quantities of dripping sarcasm.
Network Dictionary — Blamestorming
The intention of this disgusting practice show how base human nature can be. Originally intended to be a review of an outage or network impact so that analysis of the problem could occur and management could consider action that might prevent a repeat of the problem. Thus it was “brainstorming” the problem
The reality is that most people are not big enough to own up to an error, or admit that they did not follow procedure, or that some part of the design did not work as expected. The person in charge is forced to conduct a witch hunt, and ends up running a judicial process and less like an arbitration.
Someone is going to be blamed. And the process …
Network Dictionary — Fibrechannel
Fibrechannel
1. A low latency block oriented data transfer mechanism for storage centralization. Only used in Storage Area Networks.
2. A networking protocol designed by the server industry so they don’t have to communicate with networking people who know more than they do. Similar to Token Ring in its fervent belief and passion as a superior technical idea. Nobody cared about Token Ring either.
3. A storage network used by server teams so that they don’t have to understand ethernet networking.
Network Dictionary: Cock Blocked
Define “Cock Blocked“
…
I’ve learned to decipher what questions really mean based on who’s asking them. Then I dumb down my answer in kind.
Example.
Idiot Manager: “I read about the new Cisco VSS system on my new Blackberry Storm while driving to work in my overpriced sports car and eating a powdered donut. The article says that VSS doesn’t need to run spanning-tree, but I don’t understand why. Can you explain it to me?”
My answer: “Oh, look! A puppy!!”
Idiot: “Oh, yeah, I need to go to the pet store. La la la la…”
I can see that you have quite a bit of experience at this.……